A Calm of Sorts

I've been stressed out that I can't do school (community college) full-time and work 32 hours/week and still maintain the grades I want and NEED. With law school, getting a slightly higher grade in one class and raising my entire GPA (repeatedly) can make a $100,000 difference. No joke! I've researched the hell out of it. What will become of me, and of us, once I start UNI?! And law school? Fuhgeddaboudit.

I persuaded my International Relations teacher to give me 2 extra half-points on my midterm (all of the multiple choice questions were .5 points) with really super good [trivial] arguments. 18.5/20 to a 19.5/20. "Holla!," she said facetiously.

I'm worried for my future...I WILL be more stressed out than this once I am married with children, and I will still have to maintain my relationships and my schedule. How is it possible I'll be able to do it then if I can't do it now? Besides the whole "learn as you go" factor. I am pursuing a demanding career and also the whole family experience...if R feels neglected now, I don't know what to suggest will be his reality 15 years from now.

I don't want to help with the dishes, I do NOT want to clean the bathroom, I don't want to cuddle (before bedtime), I just want to read/write what I need to and effectively use every second of rational-thinking free time that I have. 

Also, watch United States of Tara. But more realistically, finish two more acts of King Lear and write some seriously awesome notes.

This post is titled "A Calm of Sorts," so I should clarify that it is such because I do NOT have to finish my analysis paper on Juliet for my Shakespeare class until tomorrow night, and my seminar group doesn't have to present until Monday...so I'm feeling relaxed. And I have two days off in a row! I get a hair cut tomorrow (kind of...I'm finally growing it out unless Pinterest talks me out of it), finish my Juliet analysis paper, let R make dinner for me, and relish the fact that I do not have to explain to anyone the difference between the Starbucks' caramel "macchiato" and the actual macchiato.