Wicked

I have absolutely nothing good to report. Absolutely nothing. R and I have had the worst week--more so R than myself...but there were 2 days he was gone and I was unable to talk to him. Two days that my only way to talk to him was through messages relayed by a lawyer. I had no idea how long 48 hours could really be.

I can't stop wondering if it would've happened if he weren't black, and I do NOT think it would have. A part of my innocence is gone. I'm finally learning what its like to be black, I guess.

Now we are on the other side, but we don't have our life back. We won't have our life back for a while.

Cryptic, but its all I can say in a public post.

Add to that MIDTERMS are this week and I am drowning in a slew of heavy assignments, readings, and study groups in addition to my apparent understanding that every paper I produce needs to be of publishing quality. It does not. But I have a really hard time convincing myself that isn't true.

I am stressed out to the max, basically.

But I'm fairly confident that this will only make us stronger (albeit jaded) individuals and a stronger couple.

It just really sucks that this had to happen and that it's part of his story now. Of my story. That really sucks.